“I don’t want to be here anymore” I finally broke down to Pat. “I want to be home in Canada where we have changes of seasons and the French language and maple syrup”. This was about two weeks ago now that I finally broke down to Pat what I had been bottling up for days. I must have sensed something changing in my body as I had an immense urge to get home. He let me vent and cry and he listened to me go on and on. He assured me that we could go back anytime during the Fall to see the beautiful colours of Gatineau Park and again to experience the sugar bush in the Spring. But mostly he just listened and let me cry it out and that was what I really needed.
Sometimes such simple words or gestures can have tremendous impact. When I had gone last week to my follow up with the doctor to make a decision on my missed miscarriage, he kindly walked us out to the parking lot. The doctor, Pat and I stood there together about to depart or ways. Pat and I were heading to the Winnie Palmer Hospital for Mothers and babies to check in with Triage. The doctor shook our hands and searched for words to express to us. Then he said the most perfectly comforting words that I needed to hear at that time. He said, “I really hope that Orlando offers you more now”, and he gestured in a hopeful way with his hands that there were blessings awaiting us here. I am sure that he couldn’t know how much those simple words meant to me as I had almost lost hope in this city. It really made me feel a reenergizing hope.
The day after surgery when I was home recovering, I was laying awake in bed enjoying the quiet house. Our nanny had the kids at the park and all I could hear was the humming of the ceiling fan as I rested my eyes intermittently. Gradually, I could hear the putter patter of the kids’ feet coming into the house and down the hallway. They entered my room and were trying to respect my rest but obviously bursting with excitement. I opened my eyes and said hi. They giggled and Bella and Rolles were holding something in their hands. They told me that they had found special rocks at the park! They went on to provide the details of each discovery…. Rolles had run over to a tree and looked down to find a rock shaped and painted like a football in the grass. Bella found a cupcake, which so happens to be exactly what she wants to dress up as for this coming Halloween! They were ecstatic!
“Perfect” I smiled…. “just perfect”.